Groans

Some people have no shame. I envy that I suppose, in a way. There's two stalls in my bathroom at work and some people have no problem at all with groaning their poop frustrations. Others have no problem just blowing the toilet up. Worse than in movies! I can't do that, because people know who is over there (especially if they groan) and I don't particularly want to be the guy they talk about with my noises.

In related news, some guys love to talk sports when they pee. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to look at you. I don't want to listen to you. I don't want to acknowledge your presence. I want to pee and go back to my desk. Want to talk at my desk? Sure no problem. But not while my Dick is in my hand. I don't care about that pass last night that got intercepted. I just want the urinal to intercept my piss.

Delicious.

How could you say no to these yummy sammiches?

Important question

Is selling watermelon at a fried chicken restaurant:

A) racist
B) A smart business decision

The choice is yours.

Why the world needs cheese

Here are my top ten reasons that the world needs cheese more than it thinks.

1. Goats would be less useful without their cheese we harvest from them.
2. Its the only thing that the French have going for them when they drink their wine.
3. what kind of sammich would you eat with tomato soup without grilled cheese?
4. What would we say the moon is made of? Dead white people?
5. I believe Kraft and velveeta would be out of business.
6. Its Fucking delicious.
7. It keeps homeless people from shitting themselves.
8. It should be its own currency. On the moon.
9. Bananas would taste like shit.
10. the rocky series of movies would have never been invented.

There you have it.

DJ Hero part 2

DJ Hero

Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes I wonder what people are doing when they come into the bathroom. I am sitting in the stall and they come in sometimes and strange noises. For instance I am pretty sure someone just came in with a disposable camera and took a picture of their dong. I just heard the strange clicking noise of someone winding up the film. They did not pee nor wash their hands, so that further makes me believe it was just dong picture taking time. All while poor.unsuspecting me sits here taking a shit like you are supposed to do in a bathroom.