Too many

I cant wrap my head around the number of "middle urinal pissers" there are. It's a firm unwritten man law that you don't walk into a bathroom and piss in the middle urinal if there's only 3.

We have 2 normal height and 1 lower height for dwarves. The lower one on the far right. I purposely go to this one when I am alone so someone doesn't get confused if I am at the far left normal height one and pees in the middle stall to avoid the small one.

When I walk into the bathroom and someone is alone at the middle stall I want to walk up to the stall next to them and just stare at them in the eyes really close and whisper "YOU CHOSE THIS - NOT ME."

But instead I go into the stall and just take a shit and blog about it.

What has my life come to when I blog about bathroom etiquette?

Cute truck...

It's weird, but occasionally people stop to talk to me about my truck at random places.

A few weeks ago an old man came up to me while I was getting gas and asked me if I was interested in selling my truck. Which caught me off guard, because at first I thought someone may have put a for sale sign on it as a joke and I didn't know it.

Yesterday I went to walmart to get some stuff and as I was loading my groceries into my truck a guy who was parked next to me in a big white truck was walking up to load his groceries.

So I did the polite nod that you do to strangers when you have to acknowledge they are there. He asked me "Does Ford still make small trucks like this?"

Generally sarcasm takes the best of me and I want to say something like "Are you fucking blind?" but I just told him that as far as I know they still make Rangers.

Then he asked me some more questions about my truck like if it's 4W drive, etc.

Then as I finished loading my groceries and he saw I was done talking to him, he said "Well, cute small truck" and walked away.

What the fuck?!

Statistically speaking

47% of people don't even own a mongoose. SERIOUSLY.

Could resist to post this

Wow 3 posts in one day?

As I was about to walk out of KFC I looked down at my packets they gave me with my meal. Important for 2 reasons:

1. Butter. Wow I totally didn't know this was butter! Chris knows.

2. It sounds like a sexual innuendo. If I worked here still I would ask people "Do you want some of the Colonel's honey sauce?". No woman could resist.

No more singing

About to leave now and he only sang it one more time. At first I was disappointed, but then he started to talk to someone about how he had it all in high school. He had a scholarship to go play football and to go run track and he had ANY woman he wanted...

But the kicker is he had a kid. His life ruined!!

Now he works as a cook at KFC and has a kid and stuck with his baby mama!!! It never is a dull moment here.

By the way he looks like a short, little bit fatter woody harilson. Total white trash.

HAY GURL WUTCHA WANNA DO IMA TAKE U BACK TO MAH HOTEL ROOOM!!!!!!

The US now has shittier credit

No longer a AAA credit, eh US?  Turns out we are now just a measly AA-plus, not to be confused with an AA-minus.  

I wish I knew more about why this stuff works and how, but I don't have the time/urge/care to learn.  Stocks are plummeting apparently?  I don't know. 

In other news, LEAGUE OF LEGENDS, OMG, LEAGUE OF LEGENDS.  Freakin' good game, and I need to play it about 583 hours this weekend.

Bears forced to drink vodka?

I read an article yesterday about how bears in Russia were forced to be inside clubs and bars and shit for entertainment. On top of that, a lot of the patrons would make them drink vodka.  Some activist group went in and freed all of the bears from this, or so it says.

I want to know why the bears didn't go on some sort of crazy mauling spree.  I mean, it's a fucking bear.  And you say "yeah well you can train bears!" but when it's drunk, who knows what the fuck it will do.  Who knows what the fuck I'll do when I am forced to drink vodka.  I could come maul you.

But MAYBE the bears loved the vodka.  I think you have to love vodka if you're in Russia.  It's kind of all there is to do. 

WHAT IS GOING ON!!

I have been using some apps to update my blog and it isn't working for some reason.  I even used to use a text to blogger to update but it isn't working either... I blame the debt of USA!